1. Empirical/evidence based “Where is the evidence that you must not make a mistake otherwise you are a failure?”
2. Logical “Just because you would like never to make a mistake how does it logically follow that you must not make a mistake?”
3. Pragmatic “Even if it were true that making a mistake means being a failure, do you feel better or worse for believing it, and does it help you stop making mistakes?”
These can help the individual engage in realistic thinking, which is more likely to assist them in reaching sensible, informed, and sustainable decisions.
A CBC coach recognises that the types of demands we make of ourselves, others andthe world are likely to generate either positive or negative outcomes. For example, I demand of myself that: “I must do well, if I do not then it is awful” or “I must be approved of by others, if I am not then I have less worth.”
But these thoughts are likely to result in stress, anxiety, depression, shame and guilt. Demands of others such as: “You must treat me justly, if you do not then it is not fair and you deserve to be punished,” are likely to result in anger and passive-aggressive behaviour. For those who believe that: “Life must be as I want it to be and if it is not then that’s awful,” the outcomes are likely to be self-pity, addictive behaviour, depression and a tendency to procrastinate.